We Gladly Feast on Those Who Would Subdue Us
by Marianne Greenleaf
Summary: It isn't the oddness of the Addams family that frightens Margaret Alford. Or, how a woman transforms from an uptight WASP to an enthusiastic member of the Addams clan.
1. Addams Family

_A/N – And now for something completely different! I've been re-watching The Addams Family and Addams Family Values movies lately, and one of my favorite aspects is the character arc of Margaret Alford. Since very little seems to have been written about her, I decided to fill that gap. Although I can't make any promises as to what direction my muse will nudge me next, this is probably going to be a one-time foray into this fandom._

XXX

It isn't the oddness of the Addams family that frightens Margaret Alford. It isn't their obsession with the macabre or their propensity to flout acceptable fashion by dressing in black in all seasons that makes her cringe.

It's their unflappable confidence that makes her tremble with fear and dismay whenever she has to interact with them. (As her husband is their lawyer, this is distressingly often.) Each and every Addams, even the children, carries themselves with the utter poise and surety of aristocracy, or perhaps even royalty. They do not seem to notice how stunningly different they are from everybody else, and if they do, they don't care.

For a woman who was raised in the WASP-iest of homes, such unconcerned aplomb in the face of social discomfort and disapproval is unthinkable, as well as utterly baffling. Margaret was taught from the cradle that appearances are paramount above all else. It does not matter what one thinks, or how one feels, or what the real truth of a matter is – what matters is how it _looks_.

This philosophy is exactly how she got trapped in a loveless marriage with Tully Alford, trapped as surely as her fingers in that wretched Chinese dragon heirloom that Mrs. Addams so kindly donated to the charitable auction.

To be fair, Margaret thought it was love, at least at first. She used to call him Alf, in the earliest days of their marriage. He hated it. This made her laugh. Perhaps she should have been warned by this incompatibility early on. Though it is never discussed – the worst breach of etiquette anyone could commit is to _discuss_ such things – Tully is clearly as unhappy with their marriage as she is. When she snaps at him as they are walking up the Addams driveway, her nerves raw and rubbed to the point of daring to openly admit she doesn't know what possessed her to marry him, he retorts that it was because _he_ said yes.

Margaret is too angry – and too well-bred – to do anything but seethe in silence at the implied insult. Her husband, having been brought up in the exact same environment of polite subterfuge as she was, knows exactly what buttons to push. Their parents, clearly anxious to unite their houses, had conspired to introduce them to each other. She hadn't been entirely enthusiastic about the match, but she hadn't found a reason to object, either. Tully Alford had a promising legal career ahead of him and he was handsome enough. She shouldn't want for more than that. (At least, not according to her mother, who possessed perfectly manicured razor-sharp nails and an even sharper tongue.) So she muzzled the part of her that screamed not to do this, convinced herself she was in love, and found herself married – _he_ proposed, thank you very much – and now they have a son who is named for his father and is starting to perfect the hollow eyes and glib smile that she was taught to wear as a child.

Margaret loathes her life, but she doesn't know how to escape it. Her parents are dead, as are Tully's, and she has to continue to endure in the gilded but empty hell they have so carefully constructed for the two of them. It isn't helping matters that they are increasingly having financial troubles. She doesn't know exactly what her husband is up to in that fancy office of his, but she is getting the disquieting inkling that he isn't entirely aboveboard in his legal practice. But in true WASP fashion, she ignores it.

But what she can't ignore is the question that is starting to gnaw at her, especially when the menacing phone calls from one Abigail Craven increase to the point of interrupting their dinner: what was the point of marrying Tully if he could not support her in the manner to which she was accustomed and was raised to expect? She was told implicitly – and even explicitly – that the only use of college for a woman was to obtain her MRS, and she was all but forced to drop out when Tully was foisted upon her in her sophomore year. She hadn't even had the chance to declare a major yet.

Robbed of both tenderness and a career, it hurts her to watch how passionately in love Gomez and Morticia Addams are. When they buy back their silly heirloom for an obscene amount of money, crying out in even more obscene pleasure as their unseemly public embrace turns downright orgasmic, she glares at them and tugs fruitlessly at the finger trap that's kept her inexorably imprisoned in the same outfit for several days.

XXX

After finally escaping that detestable dragon trap a second time, Margaret is terrified to go to the Addams family ball honoring the return of their beloved brother, Fester. She has the dreadful feeling that something else in that accursed mansion lies in wait to ensnare her, something that will prove even harder to elude if it succeeds in catching her. In desperation, she begs her useless coward of a husband not to leave her side as they enter the ballroom.

In the course of their long marriage, Tully has done many unforgivable things. But the most unforgivable act of all is when he shoves her into the ridiculous, chittering pile of hair that's requesting to dance with her, and runs off.

No matter how frightened she is, she cannot bring herself to be rude. Cursing her proper upbringing, Margaret stiffly introduces herself as she dances with the pile of hair. He likewise introduces himself, his manners as polished as any Yale JD as he informs her they call him Cousin Itt.

She smiles, charmed both by his deportment and the whimsicality of his name. It isn't long before she stops seeing a ridiculous pile of hair, but a charming, brilliant, playful, observant, and endearing man. He converses with her both intelligently and respectfully, proving himself both well-read and well-traveled. For the first time in her life, she appreciates her education and breeding, as she draws upon all of it to match wits with Itt. She relishes the challenge in a way that she never did with Tully. Itt laughs at much of what she says, but unlike her husband, it is always _with_ her, and never at her.

"You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen – your husband was a fool to abandon you," he coos, though it was her husband's willingness to throw her to the wolves that allows him to woo her. "But unfortunately, most women only ever see a pile of hair when they look at _me_."

Margaret strokes him sympathetically. Coming from a world of polished veneers and carefully constructed lies, she knows raw honesty and longing when she sees it. And it's both refreshing and revitalizing, like drinking a tall, cool glass of water after stumbling across an endless desert.

In such close proximity, she can't help noticing that his grooming is as impeccable as his manners – he smells wonderful, like leather and Old Spice. As he tugs her closer, she unabashedly breathes him in and starts wondering in the most unseemly way just what else he has tucked beneath that long, flowing mane of his besides a first-rate brain and a deliciously wicked sense of humor. As if he can read her thoughts, Itt sweetly and flirtatiously informs her that he is as fully equipped as any other male she might meet. She blushes and giggles, and shocks herself by nestling even closer to him.

As she continues to dance with Itt, and then allows him to escort her to a secluded balcony to continue their conversation, she realizes that while the Addams may appear dead on the outside, on the inside they live more fully and passionately than anyone she's ever known. She, on the other hand, is exactly the opposite.

She doesn't want to be dead on the inside anymore. But she doesn't know how to live. When Itt asks her to come with him at the end of the evening, she balks. She's still too concerned with how it would _look_.

But she can't quite let him go, either. "Call me," she sputters as he drives away in his charming little car, and winces at how silly and desperate she sounds.

XXX

Itt does call her, not long after her husband is dead and buried in the Addams family graveyard along with Dr. Greta Pinder-Schloss. (She doesn't know how exactly they died, and doesn't ask. Her upbringing can still prove useful in certain cases.) Their courtship is romantic, passionate, spontaneous, wild – everything her courtship with Tully _wasn't_. Itt makes her feel like the carefree, head-over-heels teenage girl she was never allowed to be. They are married by the end of the summer.

Her son is not happy. Little Tully misses his father, and he has not at all warmed to the Addams family or his new stepfather. Well used to prejudice, Itt is perfectly understanding of the boy's reluctance, and advises her to give him all the space he needs to adjust.

So while Margaret insists on basic courtesy, she doesn't force her son to come to any parties or play happy blended family with her and Itt. The first time she gives him a choice, a real spark of emotion brightens his dull eyes. He even thanks her, before rushing off to his friend's house. She knows that one meager gesture can't undo a lifetime of misguided parenting, but she hopes it's at least a start.

XXX

She isn't sure if she should dress as a pink fairy princess for the Halloween party at the Addams mansion. She would very much like to, as she will never be the kind of woman who enjoys wearing black, but perhaps she ought to try to fit in a bit more sartorially with her new family.

Tully would have told her to change. Itt kisses her sweetly, coos that he loves her no matter what color she has on, and urges her to wear what she likes best. So she goes as a fairy princess, and none of the Addams bats an eye at her choice of attire. Morticia even kindly compliments her costume.

When Wednesday reveals that she's a homicidal maniac, Margaret doesn't see a disturbed and deranged child who needs intervention. She sees a girl who is cleverer than most adults, and who uses that biting wit to unsettle them. She sees a girl who will never be trapped in a loveless marriage or a gilded cage. She sees the girl she could have been, if she'd been raised in the Addams family. So instead of frowning, she smiles both conspiratorially and approvingly.

An Addams freed her from the finger trap. Another Addams freed her from her lifeless life. Really, she owes them so much, and she will defend them both fiercely and proudly to the end of her days. For a woman of her background, it is the highest compliment she can think of to pay.

XXX

When Margaret finds out she's expecting, she has Morticia show her how to embroider the family motto, _Sic Gorgiamus Allos Subjectatos Nunc_, on the first blanket her child will ever be wrapped in.


	2. Addams Family Values

_A/N – I never thought this little fic would get so much attention – thank you so much for reading! Since some readers have requested to see more, particularly about Margaret's relationship with Morticia, I've decided to explore what Margaret got up to during the second movie._

_Summary: What needs a nanny. Fester is lonely. Perhaps Margaret can find the solution to both._

XXX

After her marriage to Itt, Margaret visits Morticia at least twice a week to have tea. They have grown close, especially as they went through their pregnancies at the same time, and she looks forward to their chats. She and Itt are having trouble locating a suitable nanny for their dear little What, and she is hoping to get some guidance as to where they should look for help, as the Addams have mentioned they are quite pleased with their own recently hired nanny.

But today, Morticia is having too many troubles of her own to give such advice. "It's the children… they want to go to _camp_," she whispers in hushed horror as she clutches baby Pubert to her.

Margaret normally would have had to look down at baby What and hide a smile, as there are still some things she will never completely understand about her new family, as fiercely as she loves them. But she can't help being worried by this news, as camp _is_ a highly unusual request for an Addams child.

Then again, perhaps it is not so odd that Wednesday and Pugsley are looking for such a drastic way to escape from the new baby. Her son from Tully has all but disowned her since What was born, and wants no part of the family she has made with Itt. Not knowing what else to do, she has allowed him to move in with his aunt for the time being.

After the mothers put their babies down so they can play together under Lurch's watchful eye, Margaret takes Morticia's hand in hers and pats it both sympathetically and reassuringly.

"Itt says it's best to give children their space, especially after such a big change in the family. I _do_ know of a camp for privileged young adults that's only a short drive from here, called Camp Chippewa. Back when my first husband was still with us, we never had the chance to send Tully Jr. due to our, _ahem_, financial difficulties. But I know others who have sent their children there, and they highly recommend it."

"It sounds perfectly horrible," Morticia says happily. "Dear Margaret, I just knew you would be able to help." She rises from her seat with her usual cool and silky elegance. "Would you care to join me in the greenhouse? I have some roses coming into bloom that need to be dead-headed right away."

Margaret smiles and pulls a pair of pruning shears from her purse. "I'd be delighted to help!"

XXX

Margaret still hasn't managed to find a nanny of her own when she finally gets the chance to meet Debbie Jellinsky at the bridal shower celebrating her and Fester's upcoming nuptials.

Initially, she is delighted to meet yet another woman who is lucky enough to join the Addams clan. But she can't help noticing the brittle composure in Debbie's eyes, as well as the barely concealed disdain and disgust. This is not a woman who is marrying for love. This is either the demeanor of a naïve girl who has found herself in way over her head, or the carefully calculated act of a gold-digger looking for a wealthy husband.

If it's the latter, that's precisely why the Addams will love her, and Margaret respects that. Either way, it is not her place to intrude. And she has not lost her ability to conceal her misgivings behind a polished veneer. So she smiles sweetly at the stranger, and remembers the family motto.

XXX

Margaret's suspicions are confirmed during the wedding, when Debbie can barely manage to choke out a bewildered "Ditto!" after Fester pours out his poignant and heartfelt vows.

"I don't think they will be happy together for very long," she says sadly to her husband, shortly after they have returned home from the reception. She knows a loveless marriage when she sees one, and her heart breaks for Fester.

Itt nuzzles her just as sadly. Having officiated at the ceremony, he confirms the discomfort and revulsion he witnessed in Debbie's expression as Fester spoke, and the way she shrank from his eager embrace.

Margaret sighs. "Debbie is a monster, so I'm sure Fester loves her dearly. But she's not the _right_ kind of monster – that is, she's not the kind of monster who will make him a good wife."

"We Addams can hold our own," Itt reassures her. "She will not find Fester so easy to take advantage of as she's expecting."

Margaret nods, and decides to let go of her reservations for the time being. If Debbie is truly up to no good, she will soon find herself a permanent home next to Tully Alford and Dr. Pinder-Schloss in the stately family graveyard.

XXX

"Debbie has taken Fester from us," Morticia says gravely during one of their teas. "She has enslaved him. We have not been able to see him since the wedding. She won't let us near him. And that's not all… " Too overcome to speak further, she gestures listlessly at Pubert's newfound blonde curls and dimples.

Margaret has ever seen anything more wrong in all her life. Not knowing how to comfort her dear friend, she simply shakes her head and clucks her tongue. If only there was something she could _do_…

XXX

After hours and hours of interviews, all of which have ended in fear and disgust on the part of the potential nanny and great frustration on her end, Margaret finally finds someone she can trust to care for her child. Her name is Dementia, and she not only proves to be the perfect nanny for What, she also displays exactly the kind of personality that could make her a fitting match for Fester.

But Margaret is not so graceless as to set the two of them up together right away, not even after Debbie's "unfortunate accident." Instead, she waits until Morticia discloses a few months later that Fester has finally stopped spending his nights sleeping on top of his dead wife's grave. Then, after careful consideration, she selects Pubert's first birthday as just the right occasion to introduce him to Dementia.

"I hope no one minds," Margaret says cheerfully as she, Itt, and What walk into the Addams family mansion. "We brought along a guest… "


End file.
